Earth Angel Ascended
Updated: Jun 12, 2023
Elizabeth Ann (Ciabattoni) Lampitt
Soul family is always "thicker than blood."
I am sure if you think about your own life, you know people like that... Ones who looked out for you when you needed it, possibly when your own family wasn't there.
I look back on my life from time to time always with this thought... "I may not have always had what I wanted growing up, but I always had what (and who) I needed."
Having my own two loving and attentive parents involved in my life would have been really nice. But God/the Universe made sure I didn't lack, and soul family entered my life in perfect timing.
In spring 1994, a couple of fellow highschool classmates encouraged me to go out for the girl's track team. Often for those of us that trained for distance races (800 to 3200 meters), the boy's and girl's track teams would run and train together. It was that spring I met a tall, handsome, lanky, athletic high school boy a year behind me grade wise, and we were dating before the end of the Track season. We both then also participated on the respective Cross Country teams the next two years in additon to Track. Always traveling together on the same bus for the meets, high school life was blissful!
(Apologies in advance to anyone who may take offense to the mascot-no control over that). Can you spot us!?
He is iron clad Catholic, and I was a meek little Protestant girl. After we initially started dating, of course I'd have to meet his parents. I was of nervous to say the least. To the point where I asked him, "How's your mom going to react when you tell her I am not Catholic?" (You'd have to be aware of the dynamics of my family and my hometown back then to understand why I was concerned).
Turns out it was a non-issue. She liked me just the same! And it wasn't long before she would tell people "this is Jessica, my 'adopted daughter'"...and would introduce me to everyone that way.
I had just inherited a set of parents that would pour love into me over the next 29 years!
They came to nearly every Track and Cross County meet for their son, and by proxy I benefited as well since most of the boys and girls meets were held at the same times and locations. (My one parent that raised me never attended a single meet, even in the one or two instances the opportunity was there when she was availalbe).
(Don't poke too much fun at my crazy hairstyles over the years...and yes, we ran some meets in the corn fields!)
This son whom I dated was the youngest of four boys (with a significant enough age gap in between him and No. 3), so I also inherited three older brothers at the time--in all fairness make that four brothers now--each one of them having taken time over the years to be there, sharing in my milestones as well, from high school graduation, to my college graduation, and my wedding. It's been a privilege meeting up with them over the years, watching their kids grow up! And of course we are all very proud of No. 4, and his service to others in his ministry work! When opportunity afforded it, I've never failed to let them all know how much I appreciated them investing their time and energy into me.
During my senior year of high school, after my mom decided to leave me at home to take a job over the road, Betty Lampitt was having none of that! Not the last year when I had so much going on, and before heading off to college. She told me, "We're clearing out the center bedroom (used for storage), and you are coming to live with us your last semester." And so they took me in.
This was unfortunately one of the main reasons why I lost my dog Brandon in January of '96. As my mom wasn't around, and I wasn't staying at the residence every day, Brandon figured out he was alone a lot of the time, and eventually stretched out his collar enough to escape the chain and dog house. He ended up getting hit by a car one day. I found his lifeless body lying on the side of the road close to our residence later than evening when I went to tend to him after school. (As I mentioned in a previous post on LinkedIn where I included the MidJourney art pics I created with the girl and the dog on top of the dog house, it was all Divine timing). Nonetheless, it was a deep cry that night on the way back to her house, and she was there for me and did her best to comfort me after losing my best friend.
(Only photo that I believe was ever taken of Brandon, clearly when he was a puppy... Why not include it here!?)
This high school bf and I would conclude the relationship and go our separate ways by the time I left for college at UIC. His father actually moved me into the dorrms my freshman year, because my mom couldn't make it home in enough time to help, and Betty knew if they didn't assist me with the relocation, I wouldn't make it to freshman orinetation. After he got me settled into the Polk Street dorms on the west side, he treated me to dinner at the Italian Village restaurant in Chicago afterwards. That restaurant has held special meaning for me ever since! I remember Betty telling me she was a bit jealous that he took me to the Italian Village, as it was a special place she got treated to only on rare occasion when they'd visit Chicago. I had always hoped that we'd all go together sometime, but as the years went by, they were less inclined toward the longer road trips.
UIC University Hall Photo by: Eric Allix Rogers
Chicago Italian Village Restaurant Signage is a photograph by Thomas Woolworth which was uploaded on January 7th, 2015.
The bf went off to U of I Champaign-Urbana the following year. We kept in touch a bit here and there, but I was primarily closer with his parents after that, exchanging calls and cards with them over the years, and visited during holiday trips downstate. He would eventually defer his Computer Science degree to go into ministry studies, and then the Priesthood...even going all the way to Rome to study at the Vatican! I recall one time hanging out with him after he switched things up, and him trying to convince me that I should consider converting to Catholicism and become a nun. ("Um... Thanks, but no thanks!" was my response. I was good just being "adopted" into the family!)
Just to be clear, despite being crazy teenagers once, we were decent kids and were both raised a certain way. If you don't understand what I am saying there, then you lack imagination. :) But he was good to go for becoming a Priest. Deep down on a soul level, he must have always known where his life path would inevitably take him, and behaved accordyingly. Life sure has a way of working out the way it's supposed to doesn't it! ;)
(Ironically he did get extra attention from the photographers during our wedding ceremony as he attended in full Priest attire, collar and all, and was initially mistaken for being our ceremony officiant! We had to sort it out quickly then, but we look back on the photos/video and laugh at it now).
After a period of time where I attended a predominantly Filipino and Korean church during my college years, I told Betty that they they had a respectful term in Tagalog that the younger Filipina women used to address the older Filipina women in their culture..."Tita." Betty really liked that, and had me refer to her as that instead of "Mom." After that, throughout the years, she would then always sign the birthday and Christmas cards she sent us as "Tita."
And so that's the background, and the story about how I came to be a part of their family!
As a side note, in 2015, Betty's husband would gain a bit of Internet fame in the news after they discovered that a turn signal from his old Thunderbird had been lodged in his arm for 51 years following a bad car accident in 1963! Here is the link to that if you'd like to watch the video! :)
On the morning of February 4, 2020 (her birthday), I learned that Betty had been in the hospital, and just had a major heart procedure. In the midst of a busy TDY work situation, I excused myself to go order flowers and balloons to be sent to her hospital room.
Later that year in December on my birthday or the day after, I called her to thank her for the beautiful card she had sent. This was of course months into the pandemic lockdowns, which had isolated this once bubbly and sociable woman away from all her friends and volunteer work. During that call she said to me, "You know Jess, the guys are all really concerned because I have had a few instances lately of forgetting things... I think they are harshly overreacting to this, and I think this is just routine age related memory issues and this is normal...for goodness sake I am 80 years old after all! What do you think Jessica? This is just typical old age stuff right?"
At this point without having heard from any of her sons myself, I told her what she wanted to hear in that moment... "Yes, this is just normal age related forgetfulness...I'm sure you are going to be perfectly fine."
My in-laws were on the way up that night as we were all leaving the next day for Cancun. Before they arrived, I spent an hour crying on the kitchen floor after I got off the phone with her. My maternal grandmother suffered with Alzheimer's disease and age related dementia toward the end of her life. So I knew that for Betty, this was the beginning of the end of any final coherent conversations I would likely have with her going forward, and 2020 was the last year she sent out birthday cards. I mourned then because I wanted to be strong when this day came, and be at peace knowing she is no longer in any suffering in this world.
When I got the news last week she had been in the hospital again, and was being released into home hospice for her final days, I made it clear we were available to come down and visit. But the response was "no calls or visitors in GC, just be ready to go to East Peoria for the funeral."
I got the obit link sent from the two oldest sons this morning. I sent a message to the oldest son letting him know I had been willing to come, but that I was in "visitor status," yet understood and accepted the situation. A short bit ago, the oldest called me (from Sweden no less!) to remind me that their mother loved me very much, like her own daughter...that she had always wanted a daughter, and when I came into the picture, she finally had one! And that I would always be their "little sister."
It was really she that was dictating what she wanted and who was coming and going at the end.
So yes, the woman I knew for so many years of my life as a self-proclaimed "hot-blooded Italian woman" kept her sassiness until the very end, and went out on her terms exactly as she wanted...
She was truly a one-of-a-kind woman special to us all, and will be dearly missed! I am forever indebted to this wonderful soul (and her husband) who lovingly and sacrificially stepped into the roles of "Mom & Dad" to me over the years! <3
They will always be in my soul DNA that I will carry forward...
Many thanks to all who came here and read this post dedicated to one of the most loving people I ever knew that walked this Earth!
(And sorry for any poor image quality...imagine that most of the photos included here were taken the "old school" way, on film... Long before fancy, digital phone cameras!)
I will conlude this post by sharing a poem by Tahlia Hunter that I spotted today and felt was appropriate as it is something I can hear "Tita" saying to us all from the other side:
A love letter from those who have passed on…
Take the love you have for me
And radiate it outwards
Allowing it to touch and impact others
Take the memory you have of me
And use it as a source of inspiration
To live fully, meaningfully and intentionally
Take the image you have of me in your mind
And allow it to fuel you
To take action
Seize the day
And be reminded of what is most important in life
Take the care you have for me
And let it remind you
To care for yourself fully
And shower yourself with your own love
And take the pain and grief you feel
Following my loss
And alchemize it into
Love, compassion and beauty
Build a castle
From the wreckage of my passing
And allow it to unlock your greatness and potential
And empower you to become more than you ever thought you were capable of being
And know that I can never truly leave you
And will always remain beside you
Watching over you in spirit
And that the love I have for you lives on
Through the connections you form
The kindness and compassion you share
And the future relationships and friendships you cultivate.
And until we are one day reunited
I will remain with you
Through the storms and chaos of life
And am always beside you
Walking with you, laughing with you, crying with you and smiling with you
And I am proud of you for being strong
I am proud of you for being brave
And I am proud of you for being you.
Words by Tahlia Hunter
Artwork by Elaine Bayley Illustrations