The Path of Surrender

Hello again Friends!!

Welcome to the second installment of the three initial posts for this blog site…

“The Path of Surender.”

When I launched this site with the debut post on August 26th and included a section on our sweet Yorkie Mila who passed away in 2021, I could not have even imagined I would already be at this place again with the loss of our other, older Yorkie, Juliet. That said, there will be a “Part 2” below to this post to pay tribute to her as well.

The photo below was taken after her ashes were returned to us, along with a bouquet of flowers courtesy of The Farmer's Dog.

As far as the Path of Surrender goes, people often think in terms of surrendering to something or someone, or surrendering to a process. I have found those aspects to be very much true for myself over the past couple of years. Certainly, I have been working through the process of surrendering to the Divine Path for my life.

Yet, there is another side of Surrender. It’s the side of the coin where we understand that the other half of the process is what we are surrendering of ourselves. What we are giving up, relinquishing and loosening our grip over. These are often things about our lives that require purging and clearing. Inevitably to make room for the beautiful NEW that is to come!

Over the past few years I have had to contemplate many aspects of personal surrender as I look back on the various seasons of my life. It became clear that the foundation of this process for myself would be the surrendering my various ego identities that were created during this lifetime.

If you don’t understand what an ego identity is, then simply consider the various “roles” you play in your life, and what degree of value you place on those roles from which you derive your sense of validation or belonging. (Roles such as father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, teacher, coach, student, graduate, boss, co-worker/colleague, insert here whatever career title or other label--I think you get the point).

Ego identities aren’t only dictated by the roles we take on, or the many masks we wear…but also from the belief systems through which we were raised and conditioned. Belief systems are comprised of our ideologies about how the world is supposed to work through the lenses of family status, societal conditioning, institutional rules and religious upbringing. (And if we are being real here, some of us got our ideas about how the world was suppose to work when our parents let us be babysat by sitcoms, allowing us to construct a false reality for our lives--but that's a "programming" topic for another time). All of these are by no means an exhaustive list but they serve as primary examples of the conditioning we are scripted to follow, which begins at quite an early, formative age.

So as it goes with many who are hurled into the “Awakening” and “Ascension” processes, I have found myself surrendering a lot over the past two to three years, not the least of which includes much of my religious ideology that comprised the foundation of my identity for many years. Over all I have been less vocal about any ideaologies regarding social and political issues, but much of that has shifted for me as well.

“Religions” serve their purpose and provide a framework by which to understand how we are to behave and contribute to a civilized society that operates under a construct of duality and twisted perspectives on polarization, and some do a decent job at times of actually teaching us what it means to exercise our faith.

But when religion or politics become the basis or excuse for you to put yourself in the place of judging other souls on their respective path, as if you are always right, and therefore insist that others live by your code of “rightness”… Well, then you’ve just made your religion and politics legalistic, worthless and fruitless.

(Just ask my husband, he knows...lol!)

None of us are right all the time about everything, and the best route to go is not worrying too much about what others are doing. (Yep, not even our spouses/partners!)

Compassion is always key when you've never walked in another person's shoes, or if you’ve never actually taken the time to understand someone else’s point of view or what they could be going through. These are lessons I keep redirecting back to myself, as I can recall enough moments when I was not acting in a compassionate manner towards another.

The point is...the Universe will take care of everyone else in Divine timing.

During the Awakening process when you start questioning one aspect of your beliefs that risk alienating or negatively impacting others, you start questioning the whole belief system and much of what you were taught.

This isn’t a “bad” process. It doesn’t make you a “wayward child.” It demonstrates that you are on a path to align your mind and your heart together as one (which is a very Christ Conciousness centered principle Yeshua taught, not to be double-minded).

After a while you begin to realize that you can go within, and that because your very essence (soul, consciousness) is a Divine Spark, the answers reside within you to all the questions you’ve ever posed. It’s simply that you forgot this Divine connection existed once it started to become buried under the programs, roles, masks, etc., of this lifetime.

So what about my roles in life? What have I had to surrender?

Well, let’s start with the idea of the “good wife.” I’m an okay wife. Even for myself I know there is much I could improve upon and all I can do each day is try my best. But I am not "superwoman" (nor do I care to be). I have my strengths and weaknesses and certainly areas where I could improve as anyone does, so it becomes a balance to be the best I can each day, and some days that is in fact my "best."

The idea of “family.” This includes my ideas of how my relationship with my mom should have evolved by now, and how my biological father should have long ago accepted me into his life. (I was at least able to meet my half-brother a few times, but I can’t say that relationship flourished in the end).

Then there are all the extended relatives, aunts and uncles on my maternal side (most of whom have passed now) and cousins, of whom one told me after so many years of disconnect that she didn’t realize how “down to earth” I was once we were finally able to spend some time together a year or so ago. (Of course which only happened because of a family funeral...often the only times I ever see relatives on the maternal side of my family). Apparently this cousin didn't understand why I would have paid to bus relatives from my home town so they could attend my wedding in 2007. Some family invites went unanswered because of that, and I only had about five actual blood relatives that came to my wedding.

The rest on my side were college and church friends, co-workers and of course "soul family" people at that time...the most important of which was James Harsh, a high school Cross Country and Track coach of mine from back in the day, who kept a promise to "give me away" on my wedding day. {Honestly he deserves a whole other post dedicated just to him!--He knows me well...perhaps better than I realize even, and certainly better than I know myself--He was my God sent "Dad" in this life). He's pretty much the only person that soul-fully asks me questions about every aspect of my life...even if the call with me only lasts five minutes. I am so thankful he's still around, and I am not sure what I am going to do without him someday.

And of course there were countless others God brought into my life to fill the love gaps. As far as my family, I'll own up to the fact that I could have tried harder... I could have "gone home" more. I just never really felt "invited" over the years, and when I did go back home and gave people a heads up, many messages/texts when unanswered when I suggested meeting up. There is only so much one can do.

Overall, I have had to let go of hopes I had for what certain family relationships could have been, as some relatives (those who were suppose to care about me) put me in situations of being emotionally neglected or abused, or otherwise used financially.

And yes, some of this has even happened in my more recent adult years, forcing me to finally set boundaries with everyone so I would no longer be drained. This was a hard surrender, as I always wanted to help and be there for family and to show love to them, especially if I am in a position to do so.

But it took me years to realize that in trying to cater to others, I was not loving and respecting myself.

So what about for myself? My own "family" that I thought would come into existence? There are a lot of things at play here in that regard, but when it comes down to it, I never wanted certain aspects of my life to just "happen" without thought or intent. At a soul level I always knew this deep down, despite what my ego and personality conveyed on the surface, and where I may have slung blame. But the heart of the matter is, if I was going to be married and one day have children, it had to be for the right reasons, and it would require full joint effort in the dynamic to make it work, rather than playing to designated roles, especially as it pertained to both physical and emotional presence/availability.

I was an only child in an absentee father situation, raised by a single mother who often wasn't there physically (forcing me to be a latchkey kid at times and growing up sooner than I needed to). My husband is the oldest of six from a relatively normal family dynamic, and knew what it was to help out with raising his siblings. We both went into our arrangement with certain assumptions...namely, "well eventually we'll have kids because that's what married people do." {Lol!)

Yes, I laugh a little...but it's also a bit sad, because while the world is of course filled with beautiful marriges and families that create beautiful children, it's also filled with a lot of situations and relationships where people don't choose conscious parenting/co-parenting. (Though, I do believe socieity is in some ways improving). My mom often had to work multiple jobs at one time to provide for us financially. When she wasn't working her jobs she was with her boyfriends (often times more important than me, leaving me to entertain myself) and was emotionally unavailable. The absentee father situation and my mom's mostly terrible boyfriends instilled in me than many men aren't responsible or reliable. The assumptions on my part was, I would have to step up and ensure my own "survival." And I lived in "survival mode" for quite a long time, without even realizing it.

So in short, I needed to do all I could to not end up repeating any the previous parental cycles as I grew older. Deep down the decision was, if I am not in a position where I can afford to raise kids, I'm not having them. Alternatively, if I was in a financial position to do so, but only because I had to be gone working a career (as it can be ridiculously expensive to raise children these days on two family incomes depending on what you do, salary, etc.) to the point where I'd miss all the "firsts" or wouldn't be able to be present for events, activities, recitals, sports, etc., then I wasn't having kids. I would not live a life where I risked being an uninvolved, unavailable (physical, emptional or otherwise) parent like I endured. No... That cycle ends with me, even if it means not having children.

So my reality became clear over the years...that wasn't the path for me in this lifetime.

On the flipside of the coin, it's also about making this decision with a person that knows they want that for their life, and if there is any uncertainty or ambivalence about it, then that has to be taken into consideration as either person in a partnership may have different ideas on parenting (previously discussed or not), or otherwise one or the other would risk taking on the majority of parenting responsibility.

You may wonder why in the world I am sharing about the family/children aspect, which is often such a deeply personal (and sometimes painful) topic...

Just know that my husband and I have had the conversations and have concluded that certain aspects of life shouldn't just "happen" without concious commitment (at least not for us). Also, trust me when I tell you I am very aware of the couples out there that want their own children and struggle to make that happen, or to be able to have children the woman often has to subject herself to a barrage of hormonal treatments for IVF.

The confusion over whether we should or shouldn't have had kids has brought painful moments for me as well, but more so because others came in with their judgments (based on societal and religious programming) about where I should be by now, how I should be living my life...or dare I say what it should look like because I am a woman.

Yes, it's all hard... And I am sharing openly for any and every women who discovers this post: You are a true Creatrix in so many other ways, and it doesn't require you to birth children to embody that aspect of You! You are so much more than your capacity to help pro-create another human, so remember that part of you! Dig into that so you can discover ALL seeds of potential that your creativity can nurture!

As for myself, the heart of who I truly am does not live inside other people's "boxes" or preconcieved notions. My life doesn't have to look like someone else's. If we prefer to not have children so we are able to travel more vs. living in a huge fancy house in the suburbs, owning fast cars, or diving into other aspects of materializm, then that's our business and priorities. (And yes, I can see how traveling and vacationing still appears "materialistic." Just understand that some of us are more experience orientated for traveling, trying new things, exploring other cultures--and personally I find that soul satisfying).

To each their own. I am doing what's right and good for my soul at this point in time.

If the Divine has other plans for me someday (before the timing is too late) for children to be part of the equation, then I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

So what then am I actually surrenduring about this aspect, about how my own family should look?

I am surrenduing the programs, the pain, the ideas and pressures of others. I am surrenduring the projections from other people that I in turn projected back onto myself and my spouse. I am surrenduring this part of my personality and ego. And I am surrendering my tendency to blame (myself and others).

Moving on to another topic... Education and Career.

I had some jobs early on where I learned a lot and gained some good experiences. I eventually earned my Bachelor’s degree in 2001 (first generation student in my family), which opened the door to a long and stable career. Something that most in my family had not acheived until more recent years with another generation of cousins.

I was proud…who wouldn’t be? I had done so much on my own, without the assistance of parents. I took out my own student loans, made it through school (and eventually paid off those loans).And once working, I finally had consistent health and dental insurance. (As you can see, I had such high benchmarks for myself, lol! 😊)

I’d love to tell you that I feel I have achieved a lot in this career, but not really (at least that's my own perception...but I am always harder on myelf, and I am my own worst critic). It wasn’t until later in my career under a new manager that I finally felt confident to get out of my shell and volunteer for certain “leadership” opportunities that popped up that I thought may finally open other doors for me. I figured since other areas of my life created openings and space, and as the encouragment was finally offered, it was time to take a deeper dive into things.

This confidence even grew enough that 20 years after my Bachelor’s degree, I pursued a Master’s degree. But now I scratch my head wondering where, if at all, that investment may take me.

Whatever acheivemnts I earned would inevitiably be impeded by some aspects of self-sabotage and other circumstances that unfolded, essentially from my perspective, leaving me with a Master’s degree for which I feel at this point in time I have no practical use as I no longer have intention or ambition to try and "climb the ladder." (Likely now, it won’t be until another five or so years when I can retire from my current position that I will put that degree to good use. But at least I have a few ideas).

Sometimes we think we are on a certain track only for life and the Divine to intercept it all with a good wallop on the back of your head to get you realigned. That's not to say I didn't have my own part in the "wallop." At the time I just didn't understand what was happening to me, or why I was suddenly breaking down in certain ways as I didn't recognize old wounds were surfacing. You come to realize that the direction in which you thought you were going evades your grasp...not in a bad way, but because in my case I missed some signs for the fork in the road.

And that is where my “Awakening” story began...

Because my soul/Higher Self had to step in, allowing me to “create a situation” (one of the many "Ascension" symptoms as I have read about) to redirect my Path accordingly. I would only be able to see in hindsight that the purpose of it all was designed so that I would open up to the real gifts and qualities I possess that need to be exercised and expressed in the world.

But before that I would have to tackle some things at a deep, soulful level.

While outwardly people just saw me creathing emotional "chaos," they didn't understand that other root issues were at play for me (or perhaps some people did know/see what I couldn't--those people were the "mirrors").

In the end, a job is just that…a job. A career is a nicer job with more benefits, but still just a career... Just another “role” we take on of “employee” at “x,y,z” organization.

But that’s not WHO we truly are…

So during this Awakening over the past couple years I essentially entered a process of questioning everything about my life.

A process of stripping away all that is unnecessary… My acheivments. My accumulations. My attachments. My pride. My ambitions. My ego identities.

And yes, relationships went away too, both personally and professionally. Some of those I wish the circumstances could have been different. But the Divine had plans to fasttrack the transformation process, and that required everything, and everyone gone.

(Don't worry, my husband still stuck it out with me--thankful for him!)

Otherwise though, no one else outside of me... There was no place to go except within.

Without this hard process, I would never have seen the “roles,” of those lesser versions of me for what they truly were... Illusions of my identity.

Nothing helps you to shed your ego faster than coming to the realization that you have nothing.

That you came into this life with nothing. And you will exit it in the same way…

Except in my case there will be one difference. I will have lost everything, surrendered it all, for the sake of going within and finding myself once again. A required process to re-member who I really am, how far I’ve come (even before this lifetime) and what I am here now to accomplish, with the ultimate goal being soul evolution.

As one of my teachers essentially explained, and as I have shared in a few other places…

This life is truly a crucible. There will be a suffering and a surrendering of all the unnecessary inside the crucible so that it can be “burned up” to separate out the impurities from all the good and useful.

For me, this has basically been a process of all the shit in my life being burned up and bubbling up to the top so all the impurities and junk parts of myself can become visible and be scraped off the top of the crucible.

If I had had any choice in the matter, I would have chosen less painful methods and lessons.

Trust me when I say that wish I could have foregone the Dark Night of the Soul I was launched into in early 2020. I could have gone without the physical pain I experienced for weeks in my Solar Plexus, or the mini episodes of anxiety and depression that went on for over a year...as well as the temporary “identity crisis” I went through.

Then on top of all that, the heaviness that came with losing our Yorkie Mila.

(I will add a caveat here that many of the circumstances or events mentioned above, I later to learn are signs and symptoms of another phenomenon altogether that I cannot get into right now, as it involved interactions with another party that the Divine utilized as an instrument to trigger an awareness of deeper wounds I had suppressed over the years. Let’s just say it’s a “journey” of sorts, and for me, a seeming nightmare funhouse ride I unfortunately cannot get off of--there is no going around it, only through it...so I am told. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, at least not anyone who wants a life staying in their “comfort zone.” I will just keep the faith the signs and pain of it will lessen over time. For all the good, bad and ugly of it…it has in fact been a catalyst for my spiritual awakening--I recognize that, so I will do my best to cultivate gratitude for said journey).

Overall this process for me has been about leading me into a more elevated consciousness of Transparency to the Light. And it has led me to a more Authentic life that is true to myself and what I value.

It has been a call for me to embody Authenticity through understanding my origins, my wounds, and allowing the Divine to come and open up my true gifts to share with the world.

Honestly, if I am not ready to move into a consciousness of Transparency, or willing to do the required inner work to heal deep wounds, then what even ounce of integrity to I have left to my name?

As it is, I am trying to rebuild on the traces of what I was left with when aspects of life crashed down, when I was left alone to pick up the pieces.

What I have learned through all the shifting and transformation though, is that I was stronger than I thought I was, and I am more capable than I believed myself to be to get back up on my feet after getting knocked down a little.

I spotted the following meme online today, and it really spoke to me. There are some who may have benefited from my brokenness and would like to see me stay in that condition. Yet I will continue to work on myself, free my shadows, and do the deep healing work.

So yes, I will remain "offensive" in that way... ;-)

And there you have it… My Path of Surrender!

Part 2: A Girl and her Best Girl! (Another Phase of Surrender)

This is Juliet…(Well when she was a bit younger)...

One month ago today on August 30, 2022, she crossed over the Rainbow Bridge, just two days before she would have turned 12 years old, on our 15-year wedding anniversary on 9/1.

And my life shifted yet again with another painful loss. Juliet left us a year and four days after her younger sister Mila passed in 2021, and a year to the day that Mila was cremated.

After Mila passed the prior year, I sat down with Juliet and had a serious "conversation" with her… It was simply this directive… “You can’t leave during a day I am at the office or on work travel status…you need to wait until I am home. I will need to be able to say my goodbyes to you.”

(If you read the debut post, you will know that Mila passed on the one day in several weeks I needed to be in the office during the latter part of the pandemic while we were still on mandated telework—I was heartbroken not being able to be at the house with her that day).

The weekend before Juliet passed, she started coughing. I thought it was just a reaction to something being stuck in her throat, like a piece of food that didn’t go down all the way, and that it would work itself out. It wasn’t a constant cough, more like short episodes. That was the Saturday before.

My husband and I agreed to watch her closely to see if it got worse. By Monday 8/29, she seemed to have a quite/calm day. My husband didn’t notice her coughing as much during the day…but he did mention that Juliet did not show any interest in coming out with him into the living room that day while he ate lunch. Apparently she stayed in the kitchen, laying there quietly.

I did happen to go into the office on 8/29, and didn’t end up leaving until later in the evening, not getting home until after 7:30 pm. When I did, I took Juliet for her evening walk. She was a bit slower than usual, but she had been slowing down anyway over the past year or so after a leg surgery. It was also dark when I walked her, and she couldn’t see as well given her ageing eyesight, so again I didn’t think much of it.

Once back at the house I fed her. She had a bit of a coughing spell at that point. My husband then felt bad he didn’t go ahead and take her into the vet clinic that day to get her checked out.

After we ate (and Juliet did join us for dinner for a few pieces of turkey), we were getting ready for bed and her coughing was acting up. I did my best to get her calmed down, got her to drink some water and got her cooled down. These were only temporary remedies. Once we were trying to get to bed, her coughing became worse.

At that point I took her out into the kitchen so she could lay on the cool tiles and I sat down next to her and got her calmed down so she could catch her breath…but during that coughing spell, and as I heard her labored breathing, I did become a bit alarmed because I could hear a “popping” sound with her lungs as she tried to breath in and out. I knew then her lungs had fluid building up.

Her coughing calmed down a bit again and she laid down for a minute on the floor, then got back up and sat up straight in front of me.

I then said to her… “I can’t get you anywhere at this hour, just make it through the night and we will get you to the vet in the morning… You’re going to turn 12 years-old in a couple days Juliet, you have to be here on Thursday for your birthday.”

After saying that, then something happened... Juliet looked directly at me with this look/expression I had never seen from her before. It was as if she was saying, “Mom, I’m not feeling well, and I’m tired. I made it this far with you, another year after Mila. I may need to go now.”

My heart sunk...because after a year of the Animal Communication course I was taking, I just knew.

I looked at her, trying to hold back my tears and told her “I’m not ready for you to go yet, I am not ready for them to come take you.”

(Who the hell is “Them?” I thought to myself!…What am I even thinking/saying here!?)

But after seeing that expression on her face…at that point the Knowing hit me. This was it…

As a “just in case”… I leaned over, put my hands around her her small body, and gave her a big kiss on her forehead between her beautiful brown eyes. I then told her that if she was ready to go, I would accept this, surrender to the process, and that I would ultimatley be okay.

After that, she seemed a bit calm, so I took her back into the bedroom. But a few minutes after trying to get her to lay down, her coughing started up again.

Feeling so exhausted and needing sleep, I decided to go ahead and put her back out in the kitchen so she could try to calm down and where it would be cooler for her. After going back into the bedroom, I heard a couple more coughing fits, and then it got quiet. I jumped up off the bed to go into the kitchen and check on her at that point.

I found her quietly sitting right next to the gate that separates the kitchen from the hallway and our bedroom, staring up at the basement door. She saw me and looked up at me…but showed no interest whatsoever in coming back with me to the bedroom. That was odd. At that point I left her in kitchen and went to bed.

Just before 7:00 am on 8/30, my husband had gotten up before me, and then came back into the bedroom a couple minutes later saying somberly, “There’s something you need to come see.”

Instantly at hearing those words, I already knew... Juliet was gone.

Once in the kitchen, we found that she made her way up to the third step on a staircase that goes from our kitchen up to a finished attic room.

Since Mila’s passing the year prior, and after Juliet’s leg surgery, she really hadn’t been climbing those steps at all anymore. Additionally, we had begun ripping the carpet off the steps, so it wasn’t really a comfortable place anymore for her to try and play or sleep.

Yet we found her on the third step up, facing the back wall, as if she had tried to climb up there and just lay down to go to sleep. And at some point she just passed.

Pets like this, especially dogs, like to try to either get away from the family/house when they sense something or don’t feel well, or otherwise like to go toward nature to pass/transition. For some reason unknown to us as humans, they just seem to know when it's their time to go, and they do their best to tell us. The exposed, wooden steps were the only option Juliet had that was the closest thing to something from nature.

I believe Juliet communicated her intentions and Knowing to me rather clearly. I am so thankful that she "listened" and understood my need for a "goodbye." She literally waited for me to get home that day to have a few more hours with her, and then she went on her way.

As my husband noted the way she was positioned on the steps when we found her body, it looked like she was trying to get to Something or Someone. We’d like to believe that Mila came and met Juliet for her transition (Mila liked very much to lay on those steps), and that perhaps she was trying to get to Mila if she sensed her presence.

While we won’t know for sure what specifically happened, I can only presume Juliet suddenly picked up a respiratory infection that we didn’t identify quickly enough, and fluid in her lungs put pressure on her heart and she went into cardiac arrest at the very end. Given the position she was in when we found her, she overall looked like she wasn’t suffering too much in her final few moments (though without me knowing for sure, it will haunt me for a little while).

My guess is if she had made it through the morning long enough for us to get her to the vet clinic, they would have been advising us to put her to sleep. I can tell you with certainty that's not what Juliet wanted. She wanted to be at home to say "goodbye" from her end, and leave her way. I think she knew more than I did, "they" were coming to take her "Home." I didn't like the idea that she might have been struggling at the end, but I think we are all at peace with how her transitioned occurred, leaving from the house/home just as Mila did...and it's clear their energy/presence is still around.

After Juliet passed, she pretty much got the same “bells and whistles" Mila did.

I notified Farmer’s Dog to cancel her food subscription, and they sent a bouquet of flowers just like they did for Mila. The vet clinic did a ceramic cast of her paw prints, and sent a card. We even got a sympathy card from my husband’s friend Paul (which I will talk a little bit more about below).

I put together a Quartz and Hematite crystal grid in Juliet’s honor, with a carved Rose Quartz heart in the center that we buried in the backyard with some of her ashes on it next to the Amethyst we buried for Mila the prior year.

Sincer her passing, Juliet has come through clearly reminding me how she was my “Best Girl.”

The first time was after mentioning it to a fellow Animal Communication and Healing class member that she had passed. Her initial impression from reading Juliet’s energy was that “She says loves you and she will always be your best girl.”

Then, after my husband had a conversation with his friend Paul, he said that Paul remembered Juliet from when she was a small puppy...

When we had just gotten Juliet in October 2010 at 8 weeks old, when she wasn’t much more the size of a tennis ball, we took her with us to St. Louis where we visited Paul and his wife at his mother’s house for a few hours over the Thanksgiving weekend.

They had three larger dogs there, all chasing each other. At one point Juliet seemed like she wanted to play with them, but she didn’t wish to get trampled by the other dogs, and quickly learned she could dive bomb into one of those cat scratch toy ramps to hide (as she was small enough to fit).

After a few more minutes of play went by, all the sudden everyone heard a tiny, high-pitched "Arf!"

Paul’s wife said “I am pretty sure that was Juliet.”

Up to that point, Juliet hadn’t made a sound with us in the first three weeks we had her. We had no idea what she would sound like!

Recently, Paul was nice enough to mail us a sympathy card after we lost her, knowing himself what it’s like to lose a pet. In his card, the exact words he wrote were: “She’s was the best girl!”

Paul's words were entirely independent of the other friend from the animal communication group.

(I don't wish to exclude the story of the elderly gentleman over the past year that, that during a morning walk with Juliet while I was lost in thought over Mila, and Juliet sauntering behind me on the leash...he stopped his truck right in the middle of an intersection (with a curve, so dangerous at that hour actually), and yelled over at me: "That right there, she's your very best friend!" I thanked him, and was fairly startled by the whole interaction. My thought later was, "What was it exactly that he saw behind me that morning?" I asked the same question a few days before she passed during an evening walk with Juliet. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that a red SUV was drastically slowing down on the street as it was passong by us. A woman on the driver's side was looking at me, then looking down at the ground waiting to presumably see my dog (Juliet was behind me, obscured by a parked car). Once Juliet came into view, the woman smiled and nodded at me, and proceeded to drive. It was only then I realized she nearly came to a complete stop waitng to see Juliet. Again I wondered... "What is it exactly people are seeing?"

After all that, I could no longer consider it a just a "coincidence." Juliet's energy/spirit was directly communicating through all these interactions and words. (I can understand that most people will not buy into that, and perhaps just see me "believing what I want to believe." That's perfectly fine. Unless or until it happens to you, it may be hard to understand. I just hope if you are reading this, you can respect my experience of it all).

Perhaps Juliet was a guardian angel at some point, and these total strangers could see her larger than life personality and love...I don't know. What I do know is that Juliet got me through a year without Mila.

Now who is going to get me through losing both of them? Our cat Winnie Lol! (OMG have you heard our cat!?) She's very "talkative" and even more so now that her sisters are gone. (She became part of the "pack"). She misses Juliet and Mila. Winnie and Mila got along well, and since Juliet passed, Winnie has had some pretty mournful sounding "meows" in the mornings, and we have caught her going into Juliet's "house" bed looking for her. She's an elderly cat, about 16 years old now... Old enough that while we've been on vacation we have my in-laws house sitting, primarily because of her health issues. I know it's only a matter of time before it's her turn to go. I also know she became the "matriarch" in a way for Juliet and Mila over the years, and especially watched over Juliet during the past year. I have already told Winnie her watch is over, and she can rest now.

Here is a pic of Winnie...

Here's are a few more of Juliet...

An Artsy Filter Pic from my Photography Days

One from last Christmas (2021)

Juliet loved to chase and play with the occasional Champagne cork!

Juliet and Mila (Before M outgrew J... They pretty much loved any high box brought into the house!)

Juliet and I on her 11th Birthday when Mila's ashes came back. (Don't mind both our sad eyes and my wrinkles...it was no make-up teary-eyed kind of day).

Juliet on what would be her final travel adventure...a cross country trip to the west coast where she met our friend Javier and got to enjoy some good smells and eats at Moonshadows Malibu!

Since her passing, Juliet showed up in a dream just by herself to visit me on 9/21, and as well both her and Mila visted in a dream during our current vacation, in the middle of the night between 9/26 and 9/27, which was essentially 13 months to the day Mila passed/transitioned. (And if you are not aware, the number 12 is the number of the Divine Masculine, and the number 13 is the number of the Divine Feminie... Now you know!)

Image Credit: LadyBug Art

How synchonous is all of this! Just amazing! In that second dream, it was so real and vivid! And I got a good share of "Mila Kisses." Just like the ones shown here that she used to give... :)

There are so many more stories and a plethora of photos of these two beautiful souls I could share!

They taught me so much about Unconditional Love... They were conduits of Unconditional Love to me amidst a world full of circumstances and relationships dictated by conditions and attachments.

But it was time for them to move on... They both gave so much Love, and that was their lesson for their soul evolution. Now they assist from the other side.

They had to transition when they did so I can embark on the next season of my life, and fulfil my own soul mission...to now do my part to practice and anchor that same Unconditional Love in the fabric of humanity.

Thanks for reading Friends! (And for coming back to see the updates and additional photos).

I'll see soon as we move into The Intention of Forgiveness!

Be blessed,

Jessica